Critérium du Dauphiné 2020 – 3. etape – optakt.
Hej bloggen,
3. etape af Critérium du Dauphiné.
En klog mand sagde engang: “If you can dream it, you can do it.”. Den kloge mand hed Anja Andersen. Han var SÅ god til damehåndbold, at han både fik lov at stikke klør fem i Camilla Andersens harpiksdåse OG møde Michael Jordan der, foruden at smadre Tiger Woods’ karriere, er bedst kendt for sin hang til sexatleter, store lorte og ludomani – en mand lige efter Luskes kulsorte hjerte. ?
I dag skal vi drømme stort. Vi skal helt derop, hvor stjerner fødes. Helt derop hvor luften er så tynd, at Mai Manniche begynder at give mening. Helt derop hvor fornuften forsvinder og en blind date mellem Bwalya Sørensen og Rasmus Paludan begynder at virke som en god ide. Det bliver Britney-Spears-Instagram-feed-vanvittigt, manne! ? #freebritney
Menuen byder på 157 kilometers sved, drøn, brøl og action. Alle mand skal en tur på Madeleine (Horse Kategori som Brian Holm så smukt udtrykker det) og ender dagen oppe i Skt. Martin (cat. 1). #HaGaaay
På gårsdagens etape gik Skihopperen i 2008-CERA-Tour-mode og satte samtlige manne til vægs. Foruden Skihopperens vanvittige VitaePro-ridt noterede Luske et stort fedt plus ved: #JeSuisPinot, Buchmann og Quintana (blandt de seriøse contenders). Derudover så Richie og Guillaume Martin fornuftige ud. Men let’s face it. Med mindre man er feltet.dk, så tror man ikke rigtig på dem – vel, Mulle? ?
På Luskes “du-er-tyk-og-din-mor-klæder-dig-grimt-liste” er følgende røvbananer, der åbenbart har brugt Corolla-ferien på at se Det Lille Hus på Prærien og æde After Eight:
Yates, Lutsenko, Dylan Teuns, Pogačar, Team Sky.
Skru’ centrifugen helt op på hidsig, træk i den langærmede, og stram op, drenge! ??
Nåh, videre… Business time! ?
I modsætning til det journalistiske vidunder, feltet.dk, har Luske ikke tænkt sig at nævne de 42 manne der, reelt set, har en mulighed i dag. Den dag Lolland erklærer sin uafhængighed og deklarerer Danmark krig, bliver den dag, Luske tager feltet.dk seriøst. Stram op.
Her på bloggen kører vi, ikke ulig Luske politiske observans, ekstrem stram kurs og udpeger udelukkende vindere (og maks 10). Let’s go!
⭐️⭐️⭐️ Latour, Quintana, Pinot
⭐️⭐️ Roglic, Buchmann, López
⭐️ Higuita, Yates, Uran, Bernal
? De Gendt, Mühlberger, Benoot, Teuns, Kämna, Cosnefroy
Det kræver sin mand ikke at give Skihopperen tre stjerner. Specielt når man tænker på, at han er så selvlysende, at Tjernobyl ligner en K1’er på et parcelhus i Herlev. Men med odds 2.87 og, i særdeleshed, etapeprofilen in mente, så mener Luske ikke, han er dine indefrosne feriepenge værd.
Luske smider derfor sit seneste kviklån efter følgende:
– Pinot – 9.00
– Buchmann V/P – 21.00
– Latour – 29.00
– Higuita – 29.00
– Quintana V/P – 34.00
– Lennard Kämna – 81.00 – GO LENNARD!
– Marc Hirshi – 151.00
– Cosnefroy – 201.00
Knæk, bræk og god spiller, manne! ??#MakeLuskeGældsfriAgain
– Luske ❤️
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